What am I into today? Sleep. I need sleep. There is just not enough caffeine for me today. Just isn't. Won't happen. I am going to need at least an hour nap later today if I'm going to make it to dinnertime.
I have a little beef I'd like to air. So, if there are two parents in the home, and one of them works outside of the home and the other one is a homemaker, at what point was the value of sleep determined to be worth more to the one who works outside the home? Let me explain. When my husband was working crazy long hours, I totally understood and I really tried not to wake him up at night when the kids woke up. I mean, he was working 12-16 hour days. He needed his sleep. He's now working a regular schedule and gets home by 5ish most nights. He works a schedule they call nine eights. He works nine hour days and gets every other Monday off. And every Monday he does work, he works a straight 8 hour day.
I'm a homemaker. A Stay At Home Mom, a SAHM, whatever you want to call it or label it. In no way is my day less busy than his. The kids are usually up by 715 and we go go go until naptime and if I'm LUCKY, I can get all three of them to sleep for about 30 minutes. If I get more than that, it's a huge bonus! That gets to be my 'me' time now. Woo hoo! 30 minutes! To do whatever I want. Yet, more often than not, that's when I'm trying to fold the umpteenth load of laundry, or do a quick clean of the bathroom, or hurry up and get the dishes from breakfast washed. It's a rare day that I really do get to do what I want during that time. I"m working on getting Cody on a more consistent nap schedule so he naps at the same time Austin and Audrey do, but for now, it is what it is.
So back to the issue of sleep. Last night, we went to bed about 11pm. Pretty normal for us. At 1:30 on the dot, Audrey wakes up screaming, "Maamaaaaa! MAmaaaaa! MAAAAAMAAAAAA!" Being the one who gets up with the kids, I jump up and run in there. I hold her and cuddle with her until she's asleep in my arms, for about 5 minutes. Not too bad. I tuck her back in and go back to my room. No sooner had I gotten comfortable, she screams again. UGH. Now, I'm thinking, she had antibiotic shots again today, maybe she's hurting. Or maybe that top molar that is coming down is actually breaking the gums. Or it could just be night terrors. After all, she is 2 and they started earlier than the for Austin. I go back in there again. I stay in there for about 15 minutes this time. So it's now 2am when I go back to bed. Mark has not even stirred one bit. At 2:05 I tell him to roll over because he's starting to snore. He's definitely asleep. At 2:11, in walks Audrey. I didn't even hear her open the door to her room and it's a pretty loud doorknob. Oh geez. Fine. Come into bed with us. Crap. you didn't bring your blanket or lovey. Let me find you the tag on this blanket so you can go to sleep. No, there's just not room for your head up here on my pillow, you can sleep between us but with your head on the pillow at the foot of the bed. I'm now awake because I'm getting kicked every 2 seconds it feels like and I just don't sleep well when the kids are in our bed. 2:46 am, Austin walks into our room. WTH???? I say, "No way. It's WAY too early for this. You are both going back to your room to sleep. I'm done." I've now been awake for an hour and 15 minutes while Mark has slept through all of this. As I go to take the now crying Austin back to his bed, he hits his head on the bookcase because he's fighting me. OMGosh! He's now crying. I hear Cody start to fuss. NO WAY! You've got to be kidding me???!!!!! I get the older two back to their bed. Audrey goes into her bed without a fuss... Austin. He's screaming. I go back to our room to attempt to get Cody to not wake up. Not happening. UGH UGH UGH. I tell Mark, "Hon. Please go into the kids room and calm Austin down." He says, "I need my sleep! You better wake me up when the alarm goes off!" My thoughts, "????????????????????? DID HE REALLY JUST SAY THAT???? AT WHAT TIME WAS HIS SLEEP MORE IMPORTANT AND MORE VALUABLE THAN MINE?????????" I sit and nurse Cody until 3:10 and then go get Mark out of the kids room because instead of just calming them down, he laid down with Austin and fell asleep. It was either chance the kids screaming then, or go get Mark at 5:30 and chance the kids being up for the day at that point. I go back into the room, and Cody is still fussing. I pick him up and nurse him until 3:33 (yes I was looking at the freaking clock all night) and he finally goes back to sleep. I've been up for just over 2 hours now. Meanwhile, Mark has lost all of 15 minutes of sleep. At 5:30 Marks, cell phone alarm goes off. It wakes Cody up. :( I'm ready to cry. I get him and bring him to our bed so I can nurse him laying down. My alarm goes off at 5:41 for Mark to get out of bed. Just like it does every day. So him saying, "you better wake me up..." at 2:46am, was moot. I do it EVERY SINGLE DAY anyway. Mark gets up and grumbles... that was a rough night. I seriously wanted to hit him. If I could have done so without pulling Cody off the boob, I would have. Cody decides that it's more fun to be awake now and starts to play. Really? At 6:05 I put him back in his crib. Awake. I put his music on. He fusses and what not until 6:15 when it starts to really cry, so I pick him up, hold him really tight and tell him, "IT'S TIME TO SLEEP!" I lay down with him again. At 6:43, I finally am able to put him back in his bed. I think, "Oh goody! I have 17 minutes until my alarm goes off." I got a total of about 4 hours and 15 minutes of sleep. Mark got 6 hours and 15 minutes. Yet somehow, his sleep is still more important or valuable than mine.
I got the kids up. They have had breakfast. I haven't. I'm drinking coffee. I have to get their clothes out, get them dressed, make Austin's lunch, take him to school. Then take Audrey back to the doctors office and get her 2nd round of antibiotic shots. Again. Goody goody. Then I have to run to Target for a birthday card and some cornstarch and glue. I'm trying to plan what to do with the kids inside a relatively small house for the next 3 days of rain. I have some ideas including this one: Homemade Bouncy balls I don't quite know if this is a good idea for inside, but hey. What do I have to lose besides some dishes and glass in the bookcases? I'm also going to make some oobleck and we might try to do this: Dancing Oobleck but with some tool out of the garage vs my subwoofer. Maybe a drill? I don't know. Somewhere in my day, I need to bake bread, decide what's for dinner, and work on some laundry. I have to drive a big huge van and be alert when I drive it. I have to have the patience needed to be a good Mama to my kids. And yet his sleep is more valuable somehow. I don't get it. Do you?
Edit: just to clarify, on nights when Mark doesn't have to work the next day, he does help with the kids in the middle of the night if I need him to, but it's almost not worth the effort of me getting him up to do it. Also, a bonus to my day: I went to go get Austin to get him dressed for school, and he has a freaking low grade fever. Just enough that he can't go to school. He looks and is acting fine, but I can't do it. I can't send him when I know that he can flip from a 100.2 to 102.4 in minutes. So... it's going to be a really fun day for me. Thank God for Grandma Julia who will come over after church and hang out with Austin while I take Audrey to the doctor for her shots. <3
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